Hello everyone. It's been a while, and I'm sorry for not keeping up with writing these blogs for you all to read. I want to be honest with you: I've been battling my own demons lately, and let me tell you, it's been tough. The spiritual battle is not something we can handle alone; it is meant for God to fight for us. If we try to take it on ourselves, we hurt ourselves even more because it's not ours to fight. The devil is working hard against every believer right now. So, if you are a Christian or if you're working on your relationship with Christ, please remember that the attacks will come. He will try to tempt, distract, and throw challenges your way. I want you to know that you are not alone in this fight.
I write these blogs to help people and share the truth. What purpose do I serve if I know the truth and don't share it with anyone? I want to be open and honest with everyone. Recently, I have been struggling with self-doubt, self-hatred, and self-condemnation. I'm human and face challenges just like everyone else. I love the Lord and do my best to stay on track, but the enemy has been working hard over the past few weeks to distract me. His time is running out, so he is putting in extra effort against those of us who are saved and living for Christ. He knows the end is approaching, and redemption is near for those who love and obey the Lord Jesus.
As followers of Christ, we are engaged in a battle that we cannot see. That's why we need to take up the armor of God, as outlined in Ephesians 6:10-18. Lately, I've been attacked by the enemy, who constantly reminds me of my past mistakes. I often feel inadequate, as though I'm not good enough for anyone, that God doesn't love me, and that I'm not truly saved. I've struggled with these thoughts for weeks, and it's been tough. During this time, I often feel disconnected from God; I start to believe that He doesn't hear me anymore, and I find myself feeling alone and cut off from His presence.
Have you ever felt this way? Know that you are not alone.
If you're anything like me and understand the world as it is right now, you might also be stressing about your salvation. No one is perfect, and no one will ever be perfect. We all fall short every day. While we may not engage in the same behaviors from our past, we still slip up in other ways, like getting angry over small things, raising our voices at our kids, having a bad attitude, or using inappropriate language. It happens.
You can always turn to Jesus for forgiveness and commit to doing better. I want to be honest with you: every day, I wake up feeling small, broken, empty, and lost. I have been crying a lot lately, overwhelmed with emotions, and I often cry out to God, asking for a sign that I'm okay and that I'm saved. While I know everything works in God's timing, I haven't received an immediate response. Still, I continue to bring my emotions to the Lord and trust Him.
I want to share a story with you. A couple of years ago, I took an Uber ride home. When I got into the car, I noticed flyers, small, travel-sized personal items, and snacks scattered everywhere. I thought, "This looks like a tourist's car!"
I noticed a prayer box above the console facing the back seat as we drove. Then, I glanced at the dashboard and saw a prayer dedicated to a Man of Faith. The more I looked around, the more items I found related to God, and a sense of peace washed over me. Everywhere I turned, I kept seeing messages like "You are Loved."
I also noticed that the driver had cards in the cup holder that said "The Cross," which included a poem and a prayer of salvation on the back. It was surprising because I had the same card on my fridge at home. At that moment, an overwhelming sense of peace filled me, and I felt the Holy Spirit in the car on my way home. I thought to myself, "You are loved," and I realized that this was God telling me He loves me. That was my sign that He hears me.
It's the little things in life that can have a significant impact. God communicates with us in many ways; we must listen and pay attention. During my car ride home, I felt like God was telling me He loves me, that He isn't finished with me, and that I am okay. When I got home, I started to reflect. If I say I hate myself, and I am created in God's image, then I must be like God as well. If I claim that God doesn't love me, then I am lying because God does love me—and we know who the liar is and where those lies originate. That is the devil. He will place negative thoughts in your mind because he knows how much God loves you. His aim is to deceive you and lead you away from God, causing you to distance yourself from Him and fall into a dark place. But we will not let that happen! Our redemption is on the way! We are loved by God—so much so that He sent His Son to die on the cross for us (John 3:16). That's an immense amount of love, and nothing can separate us from God's love (Romans 8:31-39).
Dear Followers of Christ and New Followers of Christ,
Put on the whole armor of God. Lift your head up and look to the sky. Jesus is coming soon. Stay strong and know that He loves us. He loves you!
"The Lord thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing." - Zephaniah 3:17
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